3 Things to be thankful about when you are married!

Not everyday we thank our life or our loved ones for being there. On this thanksgiving, i tell you 3 things to be grateful about.couple-cute-hot-kiss-Favim.com-1304072

  1. TOGETHERNESS – You should be grateful for being together, for being able to belong somewhere or to someone, for being able to depend on someone special. You know when things will go wrong, he/she will be there holding your hand. And you know when you are blabbering about something, someone is sitting there and listening or pretending to be listening. You can go home and cuddle up to him/her. You are no more eating alone, sleeping alone, living alone, crying alone or sitting at the pub alone. You belong to someone even when they are not right by your side. That’s the thing we should be thankful about.
  2. EXPECTATIONS – You are one of those people who have the full right to expect something from someone because he/she is married to you. Be it a surprise gift on anniversary or a tshirt that you loved at the mall, be it that beautiful vase or a hug after a difficult day at work. You can expect, you have someone to fulfill those or even if they are not met, you give them another chance or at the end, tell them. You can expect someone to melt down when you show them that puppy face. You are no more phone calls away sending those selfies. You can finally tell all the gross things you did as a kid and still have it respected and accepted!
  3. PLANNING – You can plan, anything. A jog, An evening, a weekend, a spontaneous short country side holiday, a long vacation, kids, retirement, world tour or a bungee jumping! You can plan without worrying about other people if they ll go or not, you two are enough. You can plan that stupid prank on someone because they cannot remain mad at you.

Be thankful to the life you have with this beautiful husband/wife present in it!

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

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The Bucket-List

Yes, I have a bucket list, not for me but for “us”.

loveI am helplessly romantic and I don’t feel guilty about it. I love LOVE, the emotion as a whole, the people who believe in this emotion, the hand written letters, those big heart shaped balloons, those happily ever-after stories,  a stroll on the beach, and loads of other things!

The day you get married, you are either lucky enough to have experienced some of those beautiful moments or are waiting for it to happen. I always thought all my moments will come true when I get married, just in that first year, which is supposed to be so romantic. But, the story is so conventional here – a boldly romantic girl married to a shy guy who does not know how to express those emotions!

While falling in love with my husband and getting to know his ways of expressing love, I realized that MY bucket list was difficult to kickoff.

But who knew my husband has a bucket list of his own!

Recently on my birthday, in our almost three years of marriage, for the first time, he entered the room with a well lit cake, loads of colorful balloons and a huge card, waking me up exactly at 12. And that day, I looked back on the list and realized I should check three things off the list. 🙂

To all you newly married people who are waiting for the bucket list to happen, Don’t give up the hope. I read somewhere, “Never Deprive Someone Of Hope, It May Be All They Have!”. So, mark my words, if i can check some things on my bucket list, you certainly can.You have to give time for this particular bucket list and you have to love the person enough. You know why, because the things on the bucket list is not something that you will do alone, and he/she doesn’t know about it.

Take time, for you and for him. You are married to this person. He/She will be there with you till death do you part. So, don’t worry if he falls short on the expectations on few birthdays or anniversaries because one day, you will check off that bucket list as well, and who cares even if it’s when you are 80 with white hair and no teeth!!

The Secret Bucket List :-

  1. A perfect Eiffel Tower Kiss – Checked
  2. A walk with my head on his shoulder – Checked(while crossing London Bridge)
  3. A cake at 12 on my birthday – Checked
  4. 5. 6….

It’s a secret list!!!!

You are Wed-locked!

pleasant-supriseFirst of all, many Congratulations for your marriage!

So how does it feel? Do you feel new? Excited? I was too. Does it feel simple? I felt that too. Does it feel difficult? Yes it is.  I got married thinking, ” How difficult can it be living with someone you love or you think you know?”. But it really is difficult and somewhat easy at the same time. Do you think it’s just you? No sweetheart, look at the other one, he/she is in the same kind of dilemma too.

So, let me tell you 5 rules to survive the first few confusing months of your marriage.

  • PATIENCE IS ‘THE’ VIRTUE – Yes, you would need patience from the very start and till the very end. My mom said that, my sister says that and now, I say that. If there is one thing you are going to need more than anything in this world, it is Patience. Have loads of it. Create loads of it, And Use loads of it.
  • HERE COMES PRACTICALITY – Love made you marry this person, or if in my case parents did (Yes, mine was an arranged marriage!) but all the answers to have a marriage working is not Love, it is being practical. What you can do, what you cannot do and what you might do. Let’s set the expectation first and then we will talk about love.
  • OBSERVE & ACCEPT – It is not necessarily true that you would get what you expected out of the other from the beginning. Observe the other if you have not lived with them. Observe what is like second nature to the other person. Know him/her. Accept what you can accept. There is no point in changing them into another you. What’s the points of getting married to a completely different person then? This is a unison where you learn from other and teach them something as well!
  • FIND A FRIEND – Of course, he is your husband/she is your wife. But, let’s not label it like that. Till the time, you people are not great friends, this thing is not going to go further and not become a great one, either. My mom and dad are best friends. It would be a lie if i say they don’t hurt each other, they do, but they forgive because who can stay without their best friends. I want a marriage like that and i think i am on the right path. When David Beckham was asked why he never cheated? I respect this man because of his reply which was – “Victoria is my best friend. And how can i hurt my best friend?”. That’s the power of friendship!
  • WHEN CONFUSED, ASK! – Yes, ask him/her. Ask him/her why something was said rudely, ask why your effort was not appreciated, ask why they think you are wrong, ask if something bothers, ask what can be expected out of you in a particular scenario. Because you want this to work. Because you are in this genuinely. Because you are here for a lifetime. Ask questions that matters and ask those that don’t. That’s okay! But never assume. Assumption in marriage is a bad thing. He/She is yours. All of it. Ask. And if she/he asks, answer as honestly as possible. Because you are giving them the direction to their effort.

Love each other fiercely! First few months are there to enjoy and know each other well, know them with all of your curiosity! Have a great time!